What happened?

Now just hang on one second!!!! Why is it so dark?! Stop turning on that light and go to sleep, Kevin!! I HATE YOU!! SO MUCH!!!!!! .... I'm sorry, I didn't mean it...

Hello, it appears that I am on fire. It hurts a lot and it I appear to have a splinter in my right toe and it HURTS OWWWWW!!! And now sports! I’m sorry, the sportscaster has just been fed to wild Gorilla Tigers. YES There is TOO such a thing as Gorilla Tigers, MOM!!

I’m running out of ideas! RUN RUN RUN OH WAIT! I still have to talk about John McCain! I don’t like him because he’s a BOX OF BANDAGES! ARGHH Say it isn’t bananas!! JOHN! Say it isn’t bananas or I will kick you in the shin so hard that it will hurt a little bit, and you know I will you little whipper snapper.

© 2009 Simultaneously published in Canada