Thursday, August 27, 2009

Post Apocalyptic Cootie Catcher

Choose a # between 1-4

now a # between 1-8

choose another # between 1-12

No peeking...




























1.Recession
2.Inflation
3.Obama 4 more years
4. Communistic Takeover


1. Walmart buys Statue of Liberty
2. McDonald's takes over Middle East
3. Diamonds outlawed
4. Medical Science brings back Walt Disney
5. Costco becomes independent nation
6. Last piece of paper becomes national treasure
7. 17th dimension discovered: entirely made of Quarter Pounders
8. Religion Googleology accepts its 15th billionth member


1. McCainbot attempts suicide. Gets death penalty.
"Uuhh...Thanks?" Says McCain

2. Spinning Newspapers enslave human race.
"Meh." Says president

3. Surgeon General repeals cigarette tax.
"Oh sure, smoking is bad, but what's worse for you is...herpes."

4. Every lawyer suddenly dies for some reason.
"What are you gonna do?" Says prez

5. Michael Jackson brought back to life. Dies 3 days later due to lack of pop

and breathable air.

6. Cancer outlawed due to not being nearly enough fun.

7. Wikipedia airs its first TV show.
"They said I was crazy to do this! ..." Says creator, Jimmy Wales.

8. Miley Cyrus and Hannah Montana appear at opposite sides of the same room at the same time.
Quantom Nuclear Fusion disproved.

9. National law passed: all citizens must carry a shotgun at all times or be killed on the spot (unofficial)
"It could be worse...somehow."

10. 2nd Great Depression; former Vice-President, Dick Cheney, introduces oranges as currency.
"I hope that the American people will someday see just how practical and orange this idea is."

11. Nobel Prize winner, Albert Gore, mauled by rabid polar bear on steroids.
"Oh the...irony?"

12. End of Pi found.
"It was actually 3 all along. Go figure."

Disclaimer: This was all originally done by me.

Thursday, August 13, 2009

GUESS WHO!?!?! No, that's wrong, you SUCK at guessing

All of you!! Drop and give me ice cream! Ice Cream!! ICE CREAM!!!! Ice cream...!!! Hhh...!!! Ohmygodicecream...!!!!

Yes Ma'am! HERE WE COME, WORLD!! DON'T YOU DARE MOVE AN INCH!!

WOOOOSH!!! Crash crash bang skid skid twist blood blood blood blood blood blood blood ...blood...

............Who was that?

Well alright then, have a safe drive home and watch out for HEAD-EATING BEAR MONKEYS!!!!

They come in packs of 400,000,000!!!!
FOUR HUNDRED MILLION
FOUR HUNDRED MILLION Aw that's a lot

Ok, nobody panic but I just placed a bunch of land mines around the room and I completely forgot where they are

KABLOOOM!!!!!!

Ok, that was my impression of a land mine, NOW IT'S YOUR TURN!!!

And if your acting displeases me, I will push the button that activates all the land mines immediately. *repeatedly pushing button*