Sunday, October 25, 2009

IQ foo yoo...'r brain

Andrew: Now we present the long awaited episode where Andrew goes off and buys inanimate objects impossible to actually purchase in the real world but that's okay

Store clerk: That'll be $19.87, sir. Will that be cash or credit?

Andrew: Surprise me.

Clerk: Alright, it's the IQ FOO YOO 3000 and 50,000X PLUS SILVER COLLECTOR'S EDITION

Andrew: That is surprising.

Clerk: If you get the questions right, 5 million of your closest friends and their respective mamas will be sent to Disney World.

Andrew: DISNEY WORLD?!

Clerk: That's right! (clicks the button)

IQ: Welcome to the IQFY3K+50K+S Collector's edition. We will begin the test...................................................................................now. Up,

Andrew: Down

IQ: Up

Andrew: Down

IQ: 5 times 5

Andrew: 25

IQ: Capital of Delaware?

Andrew: Dover

IQ: A ton in pounds rounded to the 3rd decimal point

Andrew: 2,204.623

IQ: 5th decimal point

Andrew: 2,204.62262

IQ: If A=23 and B=2, how much does C equal?

Andrew: 6.210045086

IQ: You're bluffing

Andrew: How would you know?

IQ: I don't

Andrew: Exactly

IQ: LAST QUESTION: How many piles of corn can fit in a hole 6 ft by 6 ft by 8 ft if all ears of corn are 1ft by .2 ft by .256 ft approximately and there are 4 ears of corn to each pile?

Andrew: 3

IQ: Wrong! It's a hole!

Andrew: NOOOOOO!!!!!

Monday, October 12, 2009

I can't stand having such a low attention span but not low enough to be prescribed medicine to for by a doctor and things

1...2.......3

What are you doing?

I'm naming each of my oranges.

Well you should feel ashamed of how generally ugly you are in every humanely possible way and shape in this dimension and every other dimension remotely parallel and relevant to what I'm talking about right now

Now don't get me angry or I'll have to ring up Mr. Facepusher.

Johnson Facepusher? Oh, is he the one in resources?

No, he pushes faces, what an incredibly idiotic assumption.

WHY DOES EVERYONE HATE ME?!!?

Oh no, no, no...not does...