Tuesday, December 29, 2009

Just so you know

Donuts won't contain calories if you eat them while balanced on one leg because invisible calorie collecting midgets fly between every American's legs and delivers them to jolly old St. Nicholas, who requires 14000 times the amount of calories an average person needs to survive every day to avoid being shredded by his own white blood cells in an HIV hybrid cancer and consequently ruining Christmas.

Everyone knows that.

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