If the US invades Canada...

US: Hey!

Canada: Oh hey, eh?

US: *slap* Give us all your fuel and democracy, we're running low on both.

Can: Oh, well OK. That's not anything to fuss aboot. Oh wait, do we still have free health care, eh?

UNITED STATES: No.

Canad: Oh oolright, Sorry about the imposition.

UNITED STATES!!: Give me all your plaid and mooses too.

Carn: Oh can't we have a little plaid?

F Political Correctness!! It's called AMERICA DAMMIT: No, it's all ours. And the syrup, and all the geese. We're renaming them.

Corn: So not Canadian geese anymore?

Chuck Norris Walmartland: No, we're calling them America's Hat juicy pigeonbirds

Bieber Country: Well OK, thanks for running that by us before you went along and did it, eh?

USA USA: Shut up and get back on my head.

June 8th is Name your own poison day!

Love the sound of that already.

Cellphone radiation

Food

Hemlock

Human Choice

High Fructose Corn Syrup

Acedia

Black and White film

Human emotion

Being Mortal

http://www.numberwatch.co.uk/cancer%20list.htm

OK, go to that website, I pissed my mom off so much when I told her that Chinese herbs caused cancer! Then I read the rest of the list and realized it was a joke. DUHH

Summaries!: The Book, the News Article

The author engages in some descriptions. It's cold outside and everything's brown. The reader does not understand yet what that means. Later on, it is a metaphor for the melancholy of social transport apparatuses. The main character dies.

THAT IS A SHAMELESS LIE

In that, it has no shame, in that it is true, in that, lying make my back feel good

Susie

Susie: Oh mother, you won't believe what happened today!

Mom: No, I won't. Also, I'm not your mother.

Susie: ...Oh.

Susie!

This post is full of fun!

Barrels and barrels...!

I also lie a lot

I'm Sorry

I was going to write a book about how you're a sweet and wonderful person, but instead I found you a little baby bunny

And made him write the book.

U yacsuicx nbhjasdi cxhj

The Compiled Edition

By Mr. Bunskins

Retold by Mr. Bunskins

With Short Intro by Orson Scott Card

I sincerely apologize.

All Aboard!

INcorrect

INcorrect.

As in inside of correctness, implying that you are even more correct than the median of correctivity.

Except in this situation whereas you are not correct as in you are wrong.

Dumhead

New Years!!

Hey little boy! Did you know that the spirit of Christmas means that everyone gives there is no Santa Claus.

N-No SANTA CLAUS?!?! But- but who delivers all the presents?! And, and, and eats all the cookies?!

I dunno, really fat mailmen?

NOOO!!!!

AHAHAHA!! That's hilarious!! I kill myself.

Sometimes.

I'm sorry dear, but...I have to break up with you.

What? Why? Is it my hair? I'll change, I swear!

Enough of your lies!!

Is it my fingernails? I can't help the way God made me!!

I'm sorry...it's over.

Happy Christmas!

*runs and cries in a corner*

You can't hide in that corner! That's MY hidey criey corner!!