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Doom: So you have finally realized the truth, my son.

Eon: No, it can't be!!

Doom: (takes off mask)

Eon: Impossible!! My father was killed in a lab accident! The ogre demon of the universe devil satan can't be my father!! (fire explodes behind him)

Doom: Probably not then.

Eon: Damn your tricks, old man!! You will not stand against my sonic thrusting punch fist!!!

Doom: You underestimate your father!!maybe

Eon: EEEEAAAAGGGHHHH!!!!!!!!

Doom: Your lackluster punching fist shall be your end!!!!

X: Hold it right there, Doom!

Doom: WHAT?

Eon: Agent Triple X Explosion!!

Doom: No!! You're back after all those devilish trials of squeamish terror!!

X: Yes, and I'm here to say that I am your true father, Eon!!

Eon: What...?!

X: Never mind, because I'm actually (takes off mask) Doom!!! Your father!!!possibly

Me: (watching TV, pulls grenade cord with teeth)